The song "Footprints in the sand" came to mind tonight, after finding out that my dear friend Liz (back home in South Africa) who has brain cancer is now in hospital and non responsive to anything or anyone. Memories of my mum came flooding back and I just saw "DARKNESS". I have found the words to this song helpful tonight especially as I have felt that this whole year so far seems Dark (with little glimmers of sunshine).
On the 1st of January, I said as I am sure many said as well, that 2012 was going to be a good year. Well, so far it has not been quite like I was expecting, hoping for or wishing for in many ways. It seemed to have started well and from February it just seems to have spiraled into a time of "Darkness". Illness took over, news of a move I had dreaded of hearing has became reality, Hospitalization plus a few other issues. I have often thought can things get worse. But these trails are sent to test us, make us stronger and also a test of obedience. There are a couple of issues I am really struggling to deal with and I have to keep putting on a straight face as nothing is going to change the fact that it is going to happen, as the time is fast approaching I am just going to have to lean even more on God he will get me through. Like the words of Footsteps in Sand remind me.
I am so mad with myself, because my dear friend Liz come over to the UK in February to spend time with her family and I was meant to go down and visit her but illness prevented me from seeing her. Now it is to late. I have happy memories of a healthy Liz and not seen her in her illness. I will always see that happy smiley face of hers in my thoughts. I used to love the chats we had, we shared tears and prayers together over a certain issue which Praise God those prayers became a reality for Liz recently and I know her heart will be rejoicing. She is one special lady. I don't deal or cope with lose and this year just seems to be "LOSE". Right enough of this as I cannot even see my screen through the tears. Total meltdown. "I PROMISE YOU, I am always there, when your heart is full of dis-spear, I WILL CARRY YOU".
One thing for sure is that I have a wonderful Saviour, Father who will get me through this year and many more. What has come to mind while doing this blog is that I may think I am in "darkness" what rubbish I am a child of God whom he loves, he placed these people into my life at a time when "yes I was in a dark place". He has used all of them to take me out of the "darkness" and to show me the right way and the only way and I am so grateful for them all. Now it is up to me to keep trusting, obeying and fighting for what He has called me to do. He is always by my side. God has reminded that it has not all been "Dark", as I think back to so many answered prayers over the last year, I particularly think of Jay-Jay as I type this. I need to count my blessings as there have been many. I am going to stay focused on "the light".
When I started this blog it was only to share the song, so I apologies for the doom and gloom and what has actually probably turned out to be a personal release for me.
I hope the song is a help to someone who listens to it.
God Bless
Luanne
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